Weak
by mcmachine
Summary: April was relieved to finally have some time alone. It turns out being alone isn't how she'll get real relief.


Finally, I had the house to myself.

Living with Jackson and Alex wasn't the worst thing. It was a step up from the fraternity house with everyone else in it, even if it was smaller. But it had nice floors and a washer and dryer, and I had a bathroom that I didn't have to share with a handful of other people. I only had to clean up after two guys instead of two guys, two girls, a married couple, and who knew who else.

Even so, private time was something that I never got enough of. It wasn't always about having something to do. Sometimes I just wanted nothing to do, and a little peace and quiet.

My bed frame squeaked as I collapsed on top of with a sigh, heeling off my shoes and letting them clatter onto the hardwood floor. I could hear the sound of the dishwasher running in the kitchen with my bedroom door open, but my bed is instantly far too comfortable to even consider getting up to shut it. A little bit of background noise was fine when it was so quiet and consistent, practically white noise. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a deep breath and quickly released it in a sigh. I lifted up my back for just a moment to unclip my bra, tossing it onto the floor. I'd pick it up the next time that I got up, of course, getting as messy as Jackson or Alex was nowhere in the picture for me. That and I didn't want either of them seeing my underwear laying around.

Though my eyes were closed, I wasn't tired. Work had let me wound up. I liked trauma but all of the adrenaline constantly pumping was a little hard to turn off at the end of the day. But it was so much more satisfying than pediatrics or just general had ever been, I couldn't doubt that. It finally felt like I had found a good fit.

Pent-up stress and frustration were slowly becoming a part of the norm. Trauma was gratifying in ways that no other specialty had been thus far, even if it was so far from the path that I had once imagined myself taking. That thrill and being on edge, having to work in the heat of the moment and be able to pull off something that most people would have looked at and thought impossible, there was truly nothing that compared to that. I understand why Hunt seemed like such a hardass on the outside now, especially from a distance. Being ready for that kind of stuff all the time was difficult. There was still just a little bit of tension that I could feel myself carrying it on my shoulders like I needed a massage.

Or maybe something a little better than a massage.

No one was home. I'd had to deal with hearing a little more of it than I would have liked from Alex. There was nothing wrong with doing it while I was alone and stressed, and had time. I might not have been raised to believe so, but I was twenty-eight now. I had my own beliefs.

Taking a deep breath, I listened to the quiet in the house once more. I knew that Alex and Jackson weren't home. Alex had been in some surgery with Robbins according to the O.R. board when I had finally left, and Jackson… well, I didn't know exactly where he was, but he was probably somewhere with Sloan. That was where he usually was these days.

A quick motion of my thumb undid the button on my jeans and I lifted up my hips, shimmying out of my jeans. I sat up for only a moment to fold them and set them on my nightstand, adjusting myself and fluffing up one of the pillows behind me. My panties come off next, putting them underneath my jeans just so they're not quite so visible. It doesn't matter if there's no one else in the room, it's nice to have things just appear nice and orderly.

Closing my eyes again, I let my imagination flow. It doesn't matter if I've never been with someone before. I've seen more accidental nudity in the past few years than I had for most of my life. The last few years had been hornier than the rest of my life, too. It doesn't take much to get that familiar throb between my legs.

The cotton material of my shirt slides up slightly as I reach up beneath it with both hands, massaging my breasts lightly. It felt nice. But the real reaction doesn't come from between my thighs until I pull at the hardening nipples, not enough that it hurts yet enough to really feel something there. Teasing with my breasts doesn't arouse me that much besides some tugging at my nipples. But it's enough that I can feel that familiar wetness forming beneath my legs, waiting for my hand to move lower to really get a reaction out of myself.

A noisy sigh is breathed out. My left hand remained to cup one of my breasts, but my dominant hand slowly drifted lower. I dragged my nails across my stomach, circling around my belly button. I pictured a male there, someone handsome with light eyes, pinning me down against the bed. He would kiss me sweetly, my belly and my thighs, he wouldn't shy away from the hair that I hadn't shaved. He would kiss it, too, right above where I wanted him.

Two fingers touch just above my clit, pressing down for just a moment. Nice but not enough. I tapped lightly once, clenching reflexively even though I know it's coming. It's just a little too sensitive to touch directly.

Lubricating my fingers with my own juices, I began to rub small circles against myself, trying to pace myself. It would have been easy to go fast and cum quickly, but I wanted to make the most of it. My mysterious prince charming would have taken his time with me, made sure that I enjoyed myself absolutely every second of the way. He would have teased just enough to keep me enthralled but not too much. He'd looked up at me with those big eyes and watch me thrash and cry out for him, love the noises that I made, hold me down when I finally came. Quiet, barely there whimpers began to escape, already impatient for more.

"Oh, yes, Jackson…" I don't stop, even realizing what I had moaned. My fingers just move a little faster instead. He was attractive. I'd seen his bare ass before and I knew that he was well built. It was barely any different than fantasizing about David Beckham or a hot stranger. "Oh, oh, yes."

My heart was thudding inside of my chest, I could feel each pulse practically shaking me. Oxytocin and serotonin had already taken the edge off of the stress that I had felt earlier and it was only getting better and better with each passing moment. My bedroom smelled like sex more than anything else, but it smelled good to me. Each second that passed felt better than the one before it.

"Yes, yes," I breathed out, hips rolling and arching my back.

"You might want to shut the door next time."

Choking on a gasp, I quickly pulled my hand away from my core as if there was any way to hide what I had been doing, thighs squeezing together and eyes flying open to realize that there was, indeed, a pair of light eyes on me. But this was no fantasy. Jackson was standing in the door way of my bedroom looking half embarrassed and half amused by what he had caught me doing. I was sure that between him and Alex, they probably didn't even think I ever touched myself. Now I was sure I would never want to again.

"Oh my god, Jackson, I…" Attempting to pull down my shirt to cover my naked lower half, I don't have a clue what to say. There was no way that I was going to be able to talk myself out of this one.

"You were?" He questioned, eyebrows forming high arches in his forehead.

I don't attempt to say another word yet, shaking my eyes shut and covering my face with the hand that wasn't currently covered in my own juices. This was so embarrassing. Sure, it was better that it was him and not Alex. But I had moaned his name only a minute ago. Had he heard that? How long had he been standing there in the first place?

"Jackson, I, uh," I stuttered. What? I was sorry he had caught me? "How long were you standing there?"

"Long enough." He answered unabashedly.

That answer was clear. Jackson had heard me moan out his name only a few moments ago. He knew that I had been fantasizing about him doing something to me, even if he didn't know exactly what. My cheeks were as warm and red as they could possibly be, and it's no longer from the arousal. The throb was still right there between my thighs, not disappearing even in the embarrassment. No, it was still annoyingly persistent.

"I'm– I'm so sorry, Jackson," I began emphatically, trying to figure out if there were actually any good words that I could say right now. An explanation? No, that would have only made things even more awkward.

"Don't be," he replied, shaking his head. My brows furrowed as I stared at him and he took a step into my room. "I mean, I'm sure you've earned a little personal time. I just thought you wouldn't want to continue knowing that I was listening in." He wet his lips, staring at me. What was he doing? "But really, it's rude to keep you from finishing."

What the hell was going on?

"Huh?" I questioned, mouth try and pressing my thighs together tighter. "I– no, no, I can't. No. I literally, physically, cannot." I shook my head, wishing to God that I had left my panties on.

"I could help."

I stared at him like he was absolutely crazy for the simple words that had just fallen out of his mouth. I must have been dreaming or hallucinating. Or this had to be some kind of elaborate prank where Karev was going to jump out laughing the minute that I agreed to it. It's not like I wanted to say no. That ache really, really wanted to say yes. It was absolutely begging me to.

"You're–you're not serious…" I started, shaking my head.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jackson questioned as he took another step closer to me. My bottom lip caught between my teeth as I stared up at him, feeling the tension in my thighs loosen.

"You… I'm me. You have no reason to be. I…" I was running out of things to say.

"You think you're not sexy?" He asked, looking at me so intensely that I feel obligated to answer truthfully and shake my head. "You think that no guy would fantasize about you, or want to do this for you?" Again, my answer was no. "You are so wrong, April."

There wasn't a single thought running in my head as I stared up at him, trying to figure out what to do. Was it a little bit of a fantasy for him to be the one to make me finish right now? Yeah, it was. I was sure that he was more than capable of it. I'd overheard one or two of the women that he had been with inside the apartment. They had been loud. Really, really loud. Maybe that was what had spurred a little something more inside of me. In the past, I'd restlessly tossed and turned and listened to him drive women crazy.

Lips stayed pressed together and I took a deep breath before forcing everything below my hips to relax. My thighs fell open at a ninety-degree angle. A bit of my shirt barely covered my core, but it was obvious what I was doing.

"Are you sure?" Jackson questioned, dropping a knee down on the bed and lowering himself.

"Yeah," I breathed out.

His hand ran along the inside of my thigh, smoothing up and down for a moment. He moved back up again, slowly dragging three fingers over my wet core and barely brushing against my clit. My hips jerked toward the contact for more needfully, a little high-pitched whine parting my lips. Nothing would surprise me about him knowing what he was doing.

A circle was run around the sensitive nub and my back arched off the bed with another moan leaving my lips, eyes falling shut. It felt so much better to have someone else do this to me than doing it to myself. Just knowing that there was an attraction there from someone like him made me feel sexy. That was a new feeling for me, but it seemed to match exactly how I needed to feel when something like this was happening. More circles led to more, louder moans.

"How does that feel?" Jackson murmured, leaning down and kissing my inner thigh.

"So good," I groaned. His thumb and finger rolled my clit between his fingers and I cried out. "Oh, oh!" I'd never done that to myself before. "Do that again."

Jackson listened without teasing me, doing it a few more times one right after another. It builds the strength of pleasure in the pit of my stomach quickly and I can feel the orgasm within reaching distance, just a few more strokes away. So, so close.

Reaching for him, my fingers wrapped around his wrist and held onto him, the other grabbing onto the sheets. I needed something to hold onto. He resumed to rubbing firm circles around the sensitive nub of my clit, faster and firm than he had when he first touched me. Then suddenly another hand was pushing up my shirt and cupping my breast, a thumb dragging across my nipples before he pinched that, too. I cried out in pleasure, unable to help myself as I became increasingly louder with everything that he was doing to me.

Our eyes met when he looked up at me and his hands stilled their motions rather suddenly. I blinked in confusion before Jackson repositioned himself, pushing open my thighs wider than before accommodate his presence between them. He placed a kiss on my belly button and another on the inside of my thigh. I can't maintain the eye contact when his lips rather around my clit and his thumb brushed over it, throwing back my head with a loud moan.

The orgasm inside of me built and built uncontrollably as he sucked at the sensitive nub. I'd never felt anything like this before and the buildup that he had done with his fingers alone had been amazing. I knew that I wasn't going to last one and it seemed pointless to try. Finally, an explosion rocked through my body and I cried out his name. This time it's loud and without the same shame as before, gripping onto him tightly as he worked me through the orgasm, waves of pleasure flooding through my body uncontrollably. My toes curled and my back arched, thighs shaking uncontrollably as it took over me. Suddenly nothing else in the world mattered other than the fact that he was making me cum.

A few seconds passed before he spoke. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I murmured contently, unable to produce more than a single syllable.

My gaze moved back over to him and I could see the clear outline of his cock straining against the confines of the jeans that he was wearing. It was big. I'd never seen it like this before. Taking a deep breath and trying to find a surge of energy, I placed my hand on his thigh.

"You don't have to do that, April," Jackson spoke, looking down at me.

"What if I want to?" I asked, meeting his eyes.

"Have you done this before?" He asked, eyebrows raising as he undid his pants.

"No," I admitted with a shake of my head.

Jackson lifted up his hips enough that he could push down his jeans and boxers. His cock was realized, standing up thick and tall against his stomach. My eyes flickered between his face and his cock for a moment before I reached out for it hesitantly, wrapping my hand around him. With my dainty hands, it seemed especially large.

He took my hand off for a moment and wet it before placing it back around his length, his hand on top of mine and moving it up and down. I watched his face with amazing curiosity as his eyes rolled back in his head for a moment, displaying his own pleasure openly and obviously.

"That's good?" I questioned, raising my brows.

"Yeah." He nodded.

Moving my hand up down along the length of his cock, it was smoother with the lubrication of his spit. I had never done this before, but I had done a little bit of research on the matter, somewhat unintentionally. I had seen Cosmo articles about it and I had, well, overheard it from some of the more promiscuous women in my life. As I moved up along his length, my hand twisted counterclockwise slightly, returning in the other direction as it went back down again.

It was fascinating to watch his face. Jackson wasn't the type of person who smiled for the sake of smiling. He often had a pretty neutral expression but here, it was so easy to read. He was gripping onto one of his thighs tightly, light eyes rolled up so he was looking at the ceiling.

This was a slower process than getting me off. I was sure that he had plenty of orgasms before, from himself and from other women, but I hoped that this would be a little memorable for him given how memorable it was for me. Leaning down, I took a deep breath before darting my tongue out across the head, licking his slit and tasting something salty. It must have been his precum. Vulgar words fell from his lips as he reacted and it spurred me further, wrapping my lips around the mushroomed tip gently and continuing to stroke along the length. It was an interesting taste. Different.

Though it was a longer and slower process with him, it was still equally satisfying when Jackson reached his own climax. His hand tangled into my hair rather suddenly, pulling at the roots. I liked it. It caught me off guard, pulling back with a bit of his cum dripping from my lips. I continued to stroke him through the orgasm until he began to soften in my hand. A few more spurts came out, landing on his boxers.

"Was that good for you?" I questioned, wetting my lips.

"Yeah, of course," Jackson nodded quickly.

"I… I can't believe that just happened between the two of us," I commented, leaning back in a daze with a shake of my head. "This seems so unreal."

"But you liked it, though, didn't you?" He asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."


End file.
